#he is not well in the head but no therapy for him

[crazyvik97rpg]

Sebastian was thankful that his dad actually spoke up when his mom was so all over the place – therapy, treatments, all that, Sebastian couldn’t even think about that in the slightest right now! Isa and Albert were the more logical ones so he was glad he had their support. As for William – Isa would keep an eye on him. Not even Sebastian was noticing anything – which was, to be fair, due to the stress and anxiety he had, dealing with his own illness so she really didn’t blame him. But well – that’s what she was here for. Silent support for her poor future brother–in–law, who was suffering in silence.

It was already late by the time visiting hours ended and while Sebastian had anticipated parting from his beloved would feel difficult, he didn’t expect it to be quite so painful. After his parents and Isa had said good bye, it was William’s turn. He acted unbothered and cheerful, it went right over Sebastian’s head how worried he was on the inside – however, he did notice William’s glossy eyes and then suddenly he understood. Oh he would miss him so much too. When was the last time they were so far apart, for so long? Sebastian couldn’t remember.

He made sure to savour that kiss, he loved when William would cup his face like this. His hands were warm and soft, it was a familiar, loving feeling, do warm and fuzzy. Sebastian nodded with a smile when William said they would facetime later. „Okay. Yes please…you call first whenever you’re ready, okay?“

That was at least a small silver lining. They would still see each other.

When they all left the room, the door closing behind them, suddenly it got all quiet. Sebastian stared at the door for a longer moment, the heart monitor still beeping quietly in the background. Now he was all alone. In this creepy, sterile, white room. Ugh.

Before they all went home – Isa came together in the car with her parents earlier – they all walked outside together, to the nearby parking lot. It was a chilly evening. For William, it’s been a really long day, to say the least. It was dark already.

„Will you be fine?“, she asked and she gently touched his shoulder, as they were walking next to each other, Cynthia and Albert only a few steps ahead, „You can always call me, okay?“

For I have sinned...

The principal cleared his throat, eyes scanning the notes that he had wrote down before this meeting. It already lasted an hour, and the teachers gathered in the faculty room were becoming restless and bored. But indeed there were some things to discuss, with the concert that the senior class was supposed to perform at the end of the semester, and with recent staff changes. 

William glanced down at his watch, sighing softly. His class was starting in 15 minutes, so at least, whether the meeting will be done soon or not, he will get to excuse himself. He looked out of the window, his mind wandering. Principal’s voice turned into white noise in the background. It was a pleasant day, late summer. But William was looking forward to a slightly cooler weather. Wearing all black could really be bothersome at times. 

“And lastly, I am pleased to announce that we have finally found replacement for the violin teacher. Dear Mr Tanaka, may he rest in peace, was with us for so many years that I’ve been concerned we won’t be able to find someone as good as to fill this position.” the principal spoke. “But Mr… Michaelis, was highly recommended to me, and he indeed has impressive references. He will be starting this week, so please welcome him warmly once he will arrive. Ah yes… about that. He will arrive today at noon, I need someone to pick him up from the train station and bring over for the tour around the school. Any volunteers?” 

William was barely listening, and definitely not paying much attention. He glanced at his watch again, and saw that it was time to leave, as his class was about to start. He raised his hand to excuse himself, and little did he know, he just volunteered.

“Father William! Excellent!” the principal exclaimed. “Just don’t be late, the train arrives at noon.”

“Train…?” William questioned, raising his brow. He had a feeling he was missing something…

***

Right after the meeting, William had to run for the class, so he had little time to clarify what exactly he had volunteered for. He was a piano teacher in this Music Academy, but also he served as a priest in local church. Well respected, and rather liked. So when he later found out it was about the new violin teacher, he didn’t refuse. Who, other than himself, would be a better choice to introduce a newcome to their community?

So even though he raised his hand by accident, he accepted this fate.

After classes, at noon, William took a taxi and drove to the train station, to pick up their new teacher. Wearing black trousers, and a black shirt with a thin tie, was absolutely dreadful in this weather, so William quickly found shelter under the roof of the station platform, that provided some shade.

The train had just arrived. William had no idea how Mr Michaelis looked like, but he figured he will just look for someone carrying a violin case with them. 

He was in for a bit surprise.

@crazyvik97

[thatsmzbitchtoyou]

Regrets & Apologies -Oneshot

Word count: 2338

“For fuck’s sake Bucky,” Y/N huffed, running her hands through her hair.  “I understand that you feel protective over me, and I love and appreciate that about you, but my god if you follow me to the grocery store again–”

“So sue me if I’m worried about you,” Bucky retorted angrily.  “If the wrong people were to find out you’re with me–”

“Don’t,” Y/N said.  “Stop it.  I don’t want to have this conversation again.  You are a free man, in both mind and body.  And in case you forgot, I can take care of myself,” she said, holding her hand up as a ball of fire emitted from her palm briefly before closing her fingers around it, making it disappear.

“I know you can,” Bucky groaned.  

“Then you obviously don’t trust me enough to do it,” Y/N said sadly.  “And I don’t know what’s worse: being tailed at all times because you don’t trust other people, or knowing you don’t trust me to be able to handle danger by myself.  You know what?  Never mind, the second one is worse,” she sniffled, her emotions getting the best of her.  “You’ve seen me in the field, and you still don’t believe in me?”

Bucky’s eyes widened.  “No, no that’s not it at all.”

Y/N shook her head and shut her eyes tight.  “I can’t do this.  I’m taking a walk.”  She turned and started heading for the elevator.

Bucky was angry, and now hurt, and reacted badly.  “Fine, go run away from handling our problems!”

“I don’t have a problem, Barnes,” Y/N shot back at him, punching the elevator button then walking inside, turning to look at him with near-literal fire in her eyes.  “It’s just you.”

Her glare haunted him as the elevator doors closed, leaving him alone on their shared floor.  Bucky tried to breathe evenly, the panic setting in at not being near her.  He knew he had a problem, he just wasn’t willing to admit it.  Ever since they had first started dating each other his protectiveness had kicked into overdrive, making him follow her while she was out running errands to make sure she was okay, constantly checking in, and even worse, getting in the way on missions because he wouldn’t leave her side.  She was well trained and had her powers to protect her, yet he for some reason was constantly on edge and afraid of losing her to something in his past.  God I need more therapy, he thought.  He paced back and forth in their apartment, trying to let her go on that walk alone.  They both needed space to cool off and think.  He had to let her be.  He had to show her he could trust her.  Bucky let out a loud yell in frustration and holed himself away in their room.

***

2 hours later

“Doll, I’m sorry, please come back home.  Let’s talk about this.”

***

4 hours later

“Okay, I’m trying not to freak out, but you need to text or call and let me know you’re okay.  Where are you?”

***

7 hours later

Bucky was rocking back and forth on their bed, holding himself as he held his phone tight in his flesh hand, waiting for it to ring or buzz.  It was almost 11:00 at night, and he hadn’t heard from her.  Something wasn’t right.  This wasn’t normal, even during a fight.  She would at least let him know where she was and that she was safe, even if she didn’t plan to come back that night.  He felt like he was in withdrawal, the unknown eating away at his heart by the second.

The phone rang and he nearly threw it from how bad it scared him, but he quickly answered it.  “Doll?  Where are you?  Are you okay?”

“Is this James Barnes?” A voice said.

Bucky froze.  “Yes.”

“This is Dr. Harris at Mount Sinai Hospital.  Miss Y/N Y/L/N is here.  She just went into surgery after being struck by a car in downtown Manhattan.”  Bucky gasped, a chill running down his spine.  “You’re listed as her emergency contact.  I would suggest coming down as soon as possible.”

“I’m coming now.  Doc, how bad is it?” he asked hesitantly.

“She was stable going into surgery.”

That wasn’t a good enough answer for him, but he choked back a sob in relief that she was at least still alive and fighting.  “I’ll be there soon,” he said quickly, then hung up.  Bucky ran through their floor, gathering things for himself and for Y/N, then had Friday inform the other Avengers about what was going on.  When he reached the parking garage he flung the duffle onto his back and hopped on his motorcycle, revving out like a bat out of hell.  He reached the hospital in record time, parking then running inside inhumanly fast.

Bucky dashed to the receptionist desk.  “Y/N Y/L/N, just got into surgery, what floor is that on?” he barked at the receptionist.

“Visiting hours are over, sir,” the receptionist said, barely glancing at him.

Bucky smacked his metal arm onto the counter, making it crack and she jumped and stared at him.  She seemed to recognize him and shrunk back when she saw the metal hand.  “Floor number.  Now,” he demanded.

“Four,” she whispered.

Bucky gave her a curt nod then ran over to the elevator.  He pushed the button and took the elevator up to the fourth floor, his entire body feeling jittery with anxiety.  When the doors opened he ran down the hall to the second reception area.  “Y/N Y/L/N, in surgery.  Dr. Harris called me?” he huffed at the nurse.

The nurse’s eyebrows raised in recognition then turned and picked up a phone, dialing a number.  “Dr. Harris?  Y/N Y/L/N’s emergency contact is here.”  He hung up the phone and turned to Bucky.  “He’ll be right out.”

Bucky nodded and stepped back towards the chairs in the waiting area in front of the reception desk.  A couple of minutes later a man came walking down the hall.  “Sergeant Barnes?” he asked Bucky.

“Dr. Harris?” Bucky replied.

Dr. Harris shook his hand.  “She’s still in surgery.  They’re fixing a major fracture in her tibia, along her shin.  Otherwise she was really lucky with a minorly fractured collarbone.  No other injuries.”

Bucky sighed, his jaw tightening.  “That’s…that’s good.  What happened?”

Dr. Harris minutely shrugged.  “From what the paramedics said, she was in a crosswalk and some idiot came barreling around the corner through the red light.”

“Were they caught?” Bucky nearly growled.

“Yes.  They had the good sense to not hit and run,” Dr. Harris said.

Bucky nodded.  “Okay, good.  So…what now?”

“She’ll be in a boot for six months, and she’ll need a wheelchair then crutches during that time until she heals enough to walk.  Her collarbone will be set with her arm in a sling, and that’ll take about 10-12 weeks.  It’ll be a lot of physical therapy and patience, and she’ll need a lot of help.”

“No problem.  She has plenty of help,” Bucky said quickly.  “When will she be out of surgery?”

“Should only be about another hour,” Dr. Harris said, glancing at his watch.  “The surgeon will come out when it’s over and give you an update, then when she’s put in a room for recovery you can see her.”

Bucky nodded again and thanked him before Dr. Harris walked back down the hall.  Bucky paced the waiting room for another few minutes, his phone pinging over and over again with texts and calls coming in.  He finally sat down then started answering the messages, giving the Avengers reaching out to him an update.  When he was done he leaned back in the chair, his head thudding against the wall.  He fought back tears, but a few fell through his tightly shut eyes.  He was feeling a million things at once, unsure of what emotion was going to win out in the end.  Was she distracted from their fight that she didn’t see or hear the car coming?  Or was the driver just an idiot, like Dr. Harris said?  He’d never forgive himself if he was to blame for this, even partially.  

***

An hour later Y/N was out of surgery.  Bucky was now surrounded by the rest of the Avengers, waiting to hear anything.  A different doctor came walking out of the double doors down the hallway and Bucky immediately stood and walked over to her.  “How is she?” he asked quietly.

“Y/N is doing great,” the surgeon said with a smile.  “Her leg was set beautifully, and the collarbone was a lot more minor than we thought.  She’s in recovery right now.  We’ll monitor her there for about half an hour then we’ll be moving her to a room.  The reception nurse will tell you which one soon.”

“Thank you,” Bucky said and shook her hand.  

Forty five minutes later the nurse directed him to her room.  Bucky jogged to the room number and walked in as another nurse was getting Y/N set up.  The nurse gave him a short, polite smile.  “The anesthesia will take a little longer to wear off.  She should wake up soon.”

Bucky thanked the nurse as they walked out, and he walked over to Y/N.  She was hooked up to multiple machines, tubes sticking out from her hands and one hooked into her nose.  She was sleeping soundly, and his heart broke as he looked over the bruising peeking out from her hospital gown near her collarbone, her left arm in a sling.  He slowly lifted the blanket covering her legs and saw the boot on her left leg, the skin looking badly bruised and scraped up by her knee.  He set the blanket down and pulled up a chair by the wall to her right side, sitting down and reaching for her hand, holding it firmly.  All the emotions came flooding back and he started crying as he looked up at her face.

“Babydoll,” Bucky sniffled.  “My babydoll.”  He lifted her hand and kissed her fingers, holding her palm up to his face.  “Please wake up.  We need to talk about all this, and get over it, just like we always do.  Please?  Please…”

“Buck.”

His head snapped up at the sound of his name, and he saw her eyes fluttering open.  “Y/N?” he whispered, standing up and looking at her.

Y/N’s head turned to look at him, making her wince.  “What happened?” she asked.

Bucky sighed heavily.  “Do you remember anything?” he asked.

Y/N frowned, blinking slowly.  “I was walking.  Then I heard tires screeching.  Then…pain,” she said.

Bucky nodded.  “You were hit by a car,” he said, his hand reaching up and tucking her hair back.  “Some idiot turned the corner too fast and was not paying attention.”  Y/N frowned deeper, then tried to sit up, gasping at the pain.  “Woah, babydoll, no no no.  You’ve got a minor fracture in your collarbone, and a broken leg.  You need to stay still.”

Y/N’s head leaned back as she hissed through her teeth.  “Well that sucks,” she groaned.

Bucky couldn’t help but laugh.  “I know.  But I’m gonna be here to help you every step of the way.”

Y/N relaxed against the bed and looked up at him sadly.  “I’m sorry.  About the fight earlier.  And that I didn’t answer your texts.”

Bucky shook his head quickly.  “I’m sorry.  You were right, I’ve been way too overprotective, and it made me not trust you to take care of yourself.  Though, in my defense, you did just get hit by a car while I wasn’t around to help you.”

Y/N grinned, biting back a laugh.  “True.  But you can’t always be my hero.  Life happens.  Shit like this happens, no matter what we do to try and stay safe.  You have to trust me enough to know that I’m going to do my best to come home to you.”

Bucky’s lips tightened as he fought back more tears.  “I know, I’ll work on it.  I promise.” They stared at each other for another moment before Bucky leaned forward and nuzzled her nose with his.  “For now, just kiss me once, then I’ll kiss you twice, then kiss me once again.”

Y/N hummed at his song reference.  “It’s been a long, long time,” she whispered before angling her head up and kissing him softly.

***

“This is so humiliating.  Every single time,” Y/N griped, holding onto Bucky’s arms as he helped lift her carefully into the bathtub, keeping her left leg that was wrapped in saran wrap above the water.

“You don’t need to feel embarrassed, Y/N,” Bucky said as he eased her down, making sure to prop the broken leg over the edge of the tub before grabbing the soap and lathering his hands.  He reached out and started at her legs first, making sure to get all the little nooks and crannies up her body as he washed her.

“Well, I’m embarrassed,” Y/N said with an annoyed tone.

“You’re healing really well, but it’s only been three months.  Tibia fractures take up to–” “Six months to heal, yes, thank you Dr. Barnes,” Y/N huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.  “Possibly longer.  I get it.”  Bucky sighed and gave her an arched eyebrow.  Y/N’s face softened.  “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“I know you’re frustrated, doll,” Bucky said, pulling her arms apart so he could wash her stomach and up her chest.  “But you know I don’t mind helping you.  None of us do.  And this, especially, is my favorite helpful thing to do,” he smirked as his hands washed over her breasts.

“You’re shameless,” Y/N laughed, swatting at his hands.

“But you love me,” Bucky said, leaning forward and kissing her.

Y/N kissed him back.  “Yes, I do.”

[eddwardharrison]

WHAT DO U THINK ABT ECLIPSE BEING A SOFTIE TO JAKE AND ANDREW IN THE NEW EAPS EP??

I’M SCREAMING AND CRYING.

I JUST WATCHED IT / AM LITERALLY WATCHING AS I TYPE THIS. || ALL LOVE / NO HATE

I ALWAYS KNEW ECLIPSE WOULD BE A GOOD DAD. I ALWAYS FUCKING KNEW. MY OWN WRITING AND AU’S FORETOLD THIS. ECLIPSE IS SO FUCKING SWEET OH MY GOD.

I’VE COME TO A REALIZATION. ECLIPSE IS GOING THROUGH A METAPHORICAL SERIES OF TRIALS THAT IMPROVES HIMSELF AND THE LIVES OF OTHERS. AND ALL OF THEM DIRECTLY REFLECT HIMSELF AND HIS TRAUMA.

Level One Exposure Therapy.

He had to get Sun and Moon to stop fighting each other so they’d learn to share the body without having to split or suppress. It was successful, now they can switch in and out at will and are willingly giving each other their turns. They’re even learning more about themselves such as “hibernation”, or more accurately, dormancy.

Sun and Moon was the whole reason any Eclipse’s existed. Their willingness to work with each other and themselves dictate what will happen when an Eclipse is created. Because of the natural hatred and fear between the two, a negative Eclipse is always created. But, it seems, we are creating a Ruin. A Ruin would be FAR, FAR GREATER than an Eclipse. It’d be like…gaining a younger brother. Metaphorically.

Level Two Exposure Therapy

Andrew, the dead ghost child. The haunting one, to be specific. He’s like a little miniature version of Eclipse, being a little selfish prick that demands things while making fun of Eclipse as he does. Creating a body for him will allow him to finally interact with others, to gain real relationships and learn to live as the undead,

Level Three Exposure Therapy

Facing the two Andrew’s is like facing his literal inner child, if he had one. In reality’s case, it’d be called V0/V1 Eclipse. The Andrew stuck with Jake is just suffering as he once did and is developing that same anger and hate that Eclipse once had, and is trying to stop it before Jake becomes a monster as he would in the other universes.

On top of that, Jake didn’t deserve to die. Eclipse understood that far more than he realizes. Now, he’s trying to break the laws of life and death to give Jake AND ANDREW another chance to be happy.

He knows it’s possible to give them both a moderate and healthy control, because he did this once before— with Sun and Moon.

ALSO THE CONVERSATIONS GOING ON BETWEEN ECLIPSE AND MONTY?! CAN WE DISCUSS THIS?!

“The Eclipse I knew never would’ve stepped in, if anything, he probably would’ve probably egged me on to smack his head off. So what’s happening with you, then? Making you change and all this…well, malarky?”

“I just…didn’t want you to hurt ‘em.”

“That’s it?”

“I could ask you the same thing, Gator. With you and Earth…”

(1.) MONTY TAKING NOTICE OF ECLIPSE’S CHANGE, THEN MENTIONING IT BACK TO HIM AS THEY COMPARE EACH OTHER AND THEIR ISSUES.

(2.) MONTY ASKING WHAT’S GOING ON, AND FOR /ONCE/, ECLIPSE /EXPLAINS/ WHATS GOING ON AND /DOESN’T GET SHIT ON/,HE /DOESN’T/ GET YELLED AT, AND HE /DOESN’T/ GET INTERRUPTED?! AND THEN MONTY /BUILDS/ ON HIS ANSWER TO SHOW THAT HE LISTENED?!?!?! One of the biggest issues with Eclipse’s interactions is that everytime someone asks “why are you doing this” or “what is actually wrong with you, explain it”, Eclipse TRIES to, and then they SHUT HIM DOWN, PUT WORDS IN HIS MOUTH, AND THEN CALL HIM USELESS AND GIVES HIM ANOTHER REASON TO INVEST IN CEMENT BOOTS AT THE LOCAL LAKE. LIKE WHAAAT!!!!!

(3.) ECLIPSE SHOWING EMPATHY, COMPASSION, AND WORRY FOR STITCHWRAITH. TRAITS WE HAVE /NEVER/ SEEN BEFORE IN THIS MAN!

(4.) MONTY KNOWS ECLIPSE IS HIDING MORE. /I/ KNOW HE’S HIDING MORE. HE’S IN FUCKING DENIAL!!!! I’M IN FUCKING DENIAL!! ECLIPSE AND ME HAVE NEVER STOPPED SHARING BRAINCELLS FOR 2 SECONDS OVER THE COURSE OF 2 YEARS OH MY GOD.

(5.) ECLIPSE,POKING AT THEIR RELATIONSHIP. MENTIONING EARTH. OH MY LORD-ECLIPSE. HOLY BALLS. I love it when Eclipse just MENTIONS Earth and my 32 braincells goes wild in the stadiums watching through my eyes that are watching the screen.

I can unpack SO MANY THINGS FROM JUST ONE QUOTE ITS DRIVING ME INSANE!

No, because when I heard this, I sat up. I fixed my posture. I looked ahead. I was at attention. I was READY. I GAINED CONSCIOUSNESS DUDE.

[tempural]

Started with this B/W sketchbook drawing. Got inspired by the look of the sketchbook spiral on the side, cuz it looked like film notches. Made me think of x-ray scans. Ended up doing the whole medical route on the final drawing.

Coloring method was mostly pressing the "invert" tool to turn the canvas black. Then painting red/yellow with gradient maps. And then drawing the glowing blue lines, as well as typing the "medical" text, on an "add" layer.

Spoilers and long head canons and unlicensed medical talk under the cut.

The text reads:

REVIEWED BY PONY EXPRESS AUTODOC MODEL-SCUMSUCK

PATIENT: CURLY

Near total body disruption from explosive decompression

Complete dermal vascular system collapse

Severe radiation poisoning

Hyperosmolar hyperglycemic state

Muscle and bone cachexia

Single eye rupture

Chronic obstructive pulmonary

Testicular rupture

Severe leukopenia

Itchiness and dry eye

RECOMMENDED TREATMENT

Administer intravenous therapy and catheter

Support neck and spine

Change bandages as supplies last

Orally administer paracetamol for pain

Turn and reposition patient every 2 hours to prevent bed sores

Create relaxing enviroment

Listen attentively to understand emotional state

Allow time for exercise and meditation

Encourage positive thinking

Brush teeth

Administer mouthwash

SIGNED OFF BY DOCTOR ANYA

Of course none of the treatment is actually good. In the game itself, you give him paracetamol (TYLENOL) for pain haha. So I thought I'd go along with the bad medical advice. Including that universal medical advice you get to do "exercise and meditation" if you are in a bad mood :)

I think I spent about as much time looking up the medical stuff (specifically things in relation to explosion damage and radiation damage - thinking of the Byford Dolphin Incident as well as Hisashi Ouchi) as I did with the coloring! We don't know what exactly happened with Curly, but I'd just guess with my lack of medical knowledge that the ship crashed, something exploded, and he was exposed to intense radiation.

Realistically he wouldn't be surviving with the level of medical care they have available on the ship, so I drew a couple things I thought would help him... namely the IV and catheter haha. Also thought it'd be a fun time to introduce my favorite headcanon to gift cute characters: the gift of genital nullification. Yes, I drew this mostly to show off my not-buff and no-pp headcanons!!!!

I like Curly with no skin, no muscle, no hair. It's ok if he had those before. I probably wouldn't draw him "recovered" with perfectly functioning prosthetic limbs and magically regrown vocal cords and sexy 8 pack abs. That's just me. He could get a wheelchair, perhaps some sort of eye controlled assisted communication like Stephen Hawking (but Curly doesn't seem to be able to control his jaw or cheek?).

Thinking about ~da dystopian future~ and what support he would even get? His job ain't gettin him anything :P He doesn't seem to be in the sort of society with universal healthcare, they'd drain his savings and then put him in a dark room with a nurse that turns him over once every 24 hours... Well, that's if they find him. I think he's staying frozen for 20 years and then melting like Walt Disney once the power runs out.

[bootsukki]

warnings: angst and fluff ig, pro!kageyama and singer!fem!reader

masterlist

twitter was blowing up with videos of (y/n)'s concert the night before. the moment had been completely unexpected for many— she was singing "in bloom", a sweet, quiet ballad about finding a home in someone's arms, a song she had always presented with a sweet smile and blushy cheeks, her usual "wrote this for a sweet blue-eyed boy" completely missing and instead, as she hit the chorus of the sond, her voice cracked, eyes filling with tears that she couldn't hold back. the fans, confused, caught every moment on camera, and speculation ran online about what it all meant.

hundreds of thousands of tweets about the moment that brought more tweets about the current situation in (y/n)'s and kageyama's life.

@PopBase: Fans catch worldwide known Japanese star, (Y/N), breaking down during her song "In Bloom" yesterday in Rome, a song wrote about her boyfriend, Japanese volleyball star, Kageyama Tobio. Attached: Video of (Y/N) pausing mid-song, brushing away a tear, and mouthing an apology to the audience.

@DeuxMoi: Rumor has it (Y/N) and volleyball star Kageyama Tobio were spotted leaving couples therapy in Rome recently. Could this be trouble in paradise for this couple? The singer and volleyball were last seen together celebrating their 4-year-anniversary in the Paris Olympics.

Attached: Image of the couple leaving a well-known Italian therapist's office. (Y/N) looks like she's been crying and Kageyama Tobio is trying to hide her from the camera.

reply from @bloomingyn

you are all pieces of shit, she's completely heartbroken and crying and you take a photo? you don't know what's going on in their lives to be posting shit like this, assholes

@kgymssss (y/n) cried while singing "in bloom" last night, and she looked completely heartbroken. can someone please confirm if her and tobio are okay?? :(

the socials of (y/n) were filled with comments of fans trying to get answers and some other people being completely rude towards her and as days streched on, neither her or kageyama said a word which only made everything worse.

the tension between them had been shimmering for months. a rift that started as a small crack and now has grown into a big gap in their relationship that distanced the couple and the dreams of two people who didn't seem to fit together.

kageyama's contract had reently expired, which meant that he had to either, wait for his current team to offer something (which they did) or wait for other teams from the league he was playing in or other leagues to offer him something (which also happened). kageyama loved italy, he had been living in the country for a few years by now and his life while playing in the italian league had improved drastically, while (y/n) had been hoping to go back to japan, closer to her roots, and... start a future together with kageyama. she had even hinted that she wouldn't mind going back to voice acting knowing she had several offers lined up. truth be told, she was really homesick and tired of being on tour for months and months without break for the almost seven years she had been working on music in the us, she had been going on tour for a huge majority of those years, recording songs and more albums in between. she was tired and exhausted of that life. she wanted to take a break from music and focus on other things. it wasn't that he didn't want that, they had even talked about it before, getting married, having kids... but the idea of leaving italy, leaving his volleyball team when he felt himself at the highest level, was something he wasn't completely ready for.

it all came to head one night after another quiet dinner full of unspoken words at kageyama's apartment in rome. as she cleared her plate, he looked up, expression guarded but tense.

"can we talk about it?"

(y/n) sighed, shoulder slumping as she turned to face him. he knew she had been crying a lot recently, she always did it while showering or when she left to rehearse for her shows and even though they didn't have much time together before she was back again moving to other siders of europe to sing, he needed to talk. they needed to talk.

"we've been talking about this, tobi, for months. i feel like we are going on circles."

he looked down, gripping his chopsticks tightly. "i just... i don't see why we have to go back to japan... italy is incredible and i think we would be very happy here. i... i can't just walk away from volleyball. volley is..."

"everything to you." she interrupted, voice soft but full of hurt. "italy is great but... i miss home." she hid her face on her hands, feeling, once again, tears welling up her eyes. "i get that you like living here. believe me, i do. but... what about me? what about what i want? i know japan would be the best place for us to live and there are a lot of opportunities for you there. there are teams waiting for you."

he stood up, walking to get closer to get, frustration on his face. "it's not that simple. i can't just... leave. my career is here and i... i thought you understood that."

"i understand that." she looked up at him, crossing her arms over her chest. "i've always understood, from the moment we started dating. but being together means that we need to do compromises and fight for us."

"i'm trying to compromise" he insisted, voice defensive. "we can still live here, you could move here."

(y/n) shook her head, cleaning the stray tears that were leaving her eyes. "you're asking me to compromise then, to move here and do, what exactly? stay at home all day and do nothing? in japan, i could still work in voice acting. i've always tried to be a part of your life but... w-when do we start building a life together?"

"we are living a life together."

"are we? because with how much i am in the us, recording new songs and going on tour for almost 8 months a year, it feels like we are not even together."

kageyama's jaw clenched but he couldn't seem to find an answer.

(y/n) took a shaky breath. "i want a home, one that is yours and mine. i want to finally settle down and maybe, just maybe, start a family together and... i want that to be in japan, i want to be in japan, closer to my family, closer to the people we love, the place we have both grown up in. i want to get married and have kids and... i would love for my kids to have that, to have a "normal" childhood where they don't have to take planes everytime they can see their dad and that's if they are able to see him because his training is brutal and he spends a lot of time playing matches and focusing on the league. i don't want my kids to be on a tour bus since they are babies, because i want them to go to school and know that they have a place that is completely theirs, a home. a mom and a dad who are present and... i thought you'd want that with me."

"i want that with you, i have told you this before."

"you have told me but you are not willing to go back." she sighed "tobi, you can still play volleyball at home, you have offers."

his silence was answer enough, and she felt a pang of heartbreak. (y/n) turned away, walking towards kageyama's bedroom and closing the door behind her.

the days that followed were filled with uncertainty. they barely spoke, exchanging only the briefest of texts, and each conversation felt like stepping around the edges of something neither of them knew how to fix. the internet wasn't helping and (y/n) couldn't go online without seeing tweets and instagram comments about her relationship status and speculation, heartbreak caught on camera for the world to see and comment on.

after leaving rome and italy, she went to the uk to do some shows and everything seemed to worsen the rift between them. not being together was completely breaking both of their hearts, especially when they were feeling so lost and confused.

kageyama sat alone in his apartment after a full day of meetings and calls, freshly showered and grateful for the three days off he was given. he stared at his phone, thumb hovering over (y/n)'s instagram profile he followed from his personal account only friends and family followed and he opened his browser, looking for a flight to the uk.

when (y/n) walked onto the stage in london the following night, she felt the familiar rush and adrenaline, tinged with nerves she couldn't seem to get rid of since she left italy. performing was usually the one place where she would relax but it had gotten really difficult to do in the past few months, exhausted and sad.

she usually started with one of her most popular songs but, as she moved closer towards the piano where she would sing "in bloom", her throat started to get itchy but she simply smiled like she always did and sat down on the piano.

as she started singing the song, her voice faltered on the second verse, the words hitting too close to home.

so here a am, no longer alone, in the blue of your eyes, i found my home. in you, i bloom, in you, i’m free, you’re my place, my everything.

she closed her eyes for a second, steadying herself before she sang the chorus.

and when she opened her eyes, her gaze moving around the crowd, she saw him. her tobi. her love of big blue eyes. she smiled, seeing him whistle and clap, a soft and small smile on his face, eyes focused only on her. her heart skipped a beat and she stumbled over her next words, quickly catching herself as she finished the song.

the crowd roared with applauses and cheers as the song ended, but (y/n) was completely focused on him as the band continued playing the next song.

the concert finished quite quickly and she waved at all the people, bowing to show her respect and smiling brightly, slipping backstage, where she was bombarded by her team, taking out her microphone, giving her water and taking out pins from her hair.

thanking them, she turned the corner towards her dressing room and she stopped in her tracks, seeing him leaning against the wall, hands on his pockets and a neutral expression on his face.

"tobi", she breathed.

he straightened up, expression softening when he saw her. "hi"

for a moment, neither of them spoke. he looked exhausted, and she could feel herself getting tired as well. finally, she broke the silence.

"what... what are you doing here?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.

“i needed to see you,” he said, his tone raw. “i know things have been… hard. and I’m sorry.”

she looked away, her shoulders sagging as she let out a sigh. “tobi, we’ve been over this. i-”

he took a step closer, his gaze unwavering. “i want you. i have always wanted you and i know that i've been selfish and stupid and... god, these past months have been incredibly hard on both of us. i don't want you to feel like you don't matter or that you are less important than my career because that is not true."

she looked up at him, her eyes searching his. “what are you saying?”

he took a deep breath, his hand reaching out to take hers. “i've... i've talked with my lawyers and team these past days and... i think there is a really good team in japan who made a really good offer for me. i've discussed all the terms and it seems like a great opportunity for us. i want everything with you and i also want our future kids to grow with parents who are there for them and... i want to get married and start a life with you, forever."

tears prickled at her eyes, a mixture of both relief and disbelief flodding her heart. "are you saying you'd be willing to go back to japan?"

"no baby, i'm saying that we're are going to japan. i am not going to think about it and accept the offer." he nodded, squeezing her hand gently. "i'm ready to go back home with you, find a perfect home, start a family... if that's what you want. i promise that is what i want. i want us to be together at all times and not have to talk through facetime and think about time zones and taking planes everytime we want to spend a few days together."

she let out a shaky laugh, a tear slipping down her cheek that he cleaned with his thumb. "that's all i've ever wanted, tobi."

he cleaned some other tears, his eyes softening as he looked at her. "nothing matters if i lose you."

she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close as he held her tightly, spinning her around, and for the first time in months, the weight on her chest seemed to lift. she felt his hand gently stroking her hair, his quiet promise echoing in her mind.

“are you… really ready for this?” she asked, her voice muffled against his shoulder.

he pulled back, looking into her eyes with a rare vulnerability. “more than anything.”

kageyama closed the gap between them, a deep and long kiss shared between the lovers as they swayed in the middle of the hallway, holding each other as the noise of the crowd faded into the background.

it wouldn't be easy, she still needed to finish tour and do all the paperwork it required to leave all the stages, music and sign new volleyball contracts behind and prepare for the big move but, with his arms around her, she knew that they were ready to face whatever came next, finally, together.

[raviollies]

actually no im gonna yap

im trying SO HARD to gaslight myself into liking veilguard but so many narrative choices just make me scratch my head. I AM NOT DONE, I currently gotta go to Weisshaupt.

I'll start with things I like so far:

1. I think the game is really pretty and I like the puzzles :) Antiva is GORGEOUS, I think one of the prettiest areas in the entire series.

2. I really like the Minrathous/Treviso choice. More of that please! some actual drama and consequence!

3. Assan is adorable and I cannot walk past without petting him. I didn't anticipate myself liking Davrin so much since I'm usually drawn to magic babies over warriors, but he's probably my favourite alongside Bellara. I think him having left his clan is very interesting narrative choice (I am totally not biased considering it's very similar to Daee's story)

4. Thank you lord almighty for the wardrobe/mirror system. Godbless.

5. Everytime Lucanis speaks I think of Puss in Boots and that brings me great joy. Whimsy even.

6. When you place Tevinter decor in the lighthouse, they have a Hookah right beside a fresco of Solas killing Mythal and that is mind bogglingly hilarious. I do love that the Shadow dragons know how to unwind. We're turning up after fighting for elf rights.

7. Solas surviving entirely on meat, raisins and honey feels very r/malelivingspace

Things I am Not Liking So Far

1.Minrathous feels utterly toothless. Its described as terrible, den of slavery, conversion therapy through blood magic, treatment of elves being terrible - yet we walk around unimpeded. I expected a similar experience as the Winter Palace, or fights that could be avoided if playing as a human.

LAVELLAN is introduced in the TEVINTER TAVERN, wearing TEVINTER CLOTHING, like it doesn't...make much sense to me? Inquisition set up the cross roads with Morrigan AND the Inquisitior, it feels like it would have made much more sense narratively not just from..."I am the fucking Inquisitor In Fucking Minrathous" but "Solas and the crossroads are a vital connecting point of these characters story."

Speaking of Inquisitor, wildly bizarre to me that neither Solas nor Varric comment on you meeting them. Solas has a weird painting of the Inquisitor chair, but you meet the mf face to face and he just does't acknowledge it. I am not a Solavellan player but I felt Really Bad For Them In That Moment.

I think a good moment of comparison is the difference in tone of DAI and DATV...When we find out the orb is elven in DAI, Solas warns us to keep it to ourselves, with Lavellan even remaking that the world will blame us for Corypheus. In DATV, we inform everyone that Elven gods are attacking, and there's no thought or conversation about the impacts of that on Elves in society. The only one to mention it is Davrin way after we've been spilling the beans left and right.

2. I'm not done the story but hey has anyone mentioned we haven't fought a single Fen'Harel agent, what's up with that... I expected to be fighting Elves based on the epilogue in Tresspasser but ?? ???

3. I'm sorry I HATE THEM DISREGARDING THE WELL OF SORROWS IN FAVOUR OF MORRIGAN WHEN SOLAS MAKES A HUGE DEAL OF YOU BEING TIED TO MYTHAL IF YOU DRANK FROM THE WELL. Oh sorry, if it was unimportant then why the fuck did you go on a monologue about how you're "her creature" and connected to her. It felt like a retcon of the importance placed on it in Inquisition and how much of a deal both Solas AND Morrigan make about it. I'm sorry picking a ROMANCE was more important than acknowledging THIS?? ? ??

"But Ravie, they can't account for Inquisitors personality and making them important would piss people off" then just kill them off. If they're set on Morrigan carrying this piece of narrative, I would have written the Inquisitor off the table before the choice becomes relevant. Have them help you in the ritual at the start of the game and die. I feel similarly about Varric, because he feels like the writers stuffed him in the closet to not talk which just...JUST KILL HIM. Its better than being relegated to furniture!!!!

3. Speaking of Morrigan why the hell is so nice. This is not my beautiful mean witch wife. In fact everyone is nice. Even hardened Lucanis has been polite to me.

4. I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH ROOK. I profoundly hate starting off friends with Varric (and him getting shelved like what was the point). It ruins a lot of initial RP for character establishment, because it limits how the player character FEELs about the whole thing, your motivations are GIVEN to you. Furthermore, it feels like rook HAS an established character. I don't feel like I got to play my rook, just say things slightly differently based on an already established character. I dont feel like I am roleplaying a custom character, just as Biowares stand in protagonist. Maybe I'm just spoiled by the level of interaction that BG3 provided me.

The opening sequence is bizarre to me, because IF I MAKING THE STORY....I would have had the introductory quests for each of the companions be the first quest based on the faction you select (Shadow dragons with Neve, Mournwatch with Emmerich, Crows with Lucanis etc. etc.) That way you establish your character based on the faction and immediately get a little tutorial on what kind of character you're going to be playing. I would even keep the introductory quests the same with minor dialogue tweaks. The ritual would come after the tutorial prologue mission and then you start with Harding and the companion you got introduced with, since the order you get them...really doesn't matter or impact anything.

5. I think the Venatori and Antaam following Elven Mage Gods is kinda dumb. Sorry. I thought they both looked down on them for being either Elves or Mages/didn't even acknowledge them. What the hell is their goal anyway

My criticisms comes down to...I don't know what themes the game is trying to tackle? The game SAYS things but doesn't actually do anything with these topics. Minrathous HAS a slavery problem but we don't see it. Treviso is ruled by a faction of assassins but it's like a good thing! Elven gods are responsible for everything wrong in the world, but the narrative implications of what that means for modern elves are acknowledged in passing like acknowledging the weather. The game feels hesitant to actually unpack any of these things despite being the one to put them on the table.

Anyway I am going to finish the game and probably play on Daee with a Solavellan Inquisitor to see if that improves my experience by picking a character who is more tailored to the Rook they portray/not having an emotional connection to the Inky, but atm...Man I Had Hopes. Made me feel stupid for getting so hyped up for a conclusion to a story arc for a character THEY SPECIFICALLY LEFT ON A CLIFFHANGER FOR A DECADE. I'll just draw art, lie face down in the ground and imagine a more narratively satisfying conclusion to my Inquisitors story.

[jungkook2522]

Yandere Therapist x Reader

Warning: obsession, yandere tendencies, broken reader , depression, mentions of suicide, naive darling, mind control, mentions of shot, drugged, mentions of hypnosis.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

________________________________________________________

You were walking down the street looking around other people, everyone seemed happy, everyone seemed joyful expect you...

You were from poor family and started working in part time jobs at very young age. Everyone in the school bullied you, your parents didn't cared about you, relatives and friends were fake and hated you, long story short you had no one beside you...Here you are sad and depressed, with no one and no where to go. You wanted to give up already...

And that's why you're here, in the tallest bridge which located near the river, the place which everyone loves and takes photo of it. Even bridge is loved... It's ok, one jump and it's all over...

You closed your eyes and moved forward but something under your foot made noise... you opened your eyes and looked down. It was a paper... not ordinary paper...You reached your hand and took paper from ground. It was an offer note... An offer to therapist.

You carefully read what was written inside. There was written that if their first therapy is free and if in their second therapy the results not showing even slightly they'll give you money...

You wanted to throw it away but somewhere in your mind you wanted to try it, besides you had nothing to lose... Besides if it doesn't work you can give money to your debt of the rent to your renter.... Only two days and it's over....

Here you are... Sitting in the therapist room, looking at therapist speechless... How the hell he knew all your problems and that you had depression just from your look?.. Is it that obvious?... Well you think you can trust him with his therapies... for now...

He wanted to do hypnosis to you, he told you that he did that to all his patients and it'll work all the time.. You trust him because he knows all things about you... But oh how you were wrong...

Well you were really dumb for believing him... And the paper you found was expired like his license... You were like an innocent bunny that came straight to the wolf's den... Well don't worry though you'll never be alone or unloved with him... Never when you're with him...

_________________________Time skip: month

You don't know what's happening to you... You were in your therapist's lap and you were enjoying it... You were like attached to him and looking at him like a puppy... Like a lovesick puppy who seeked attention...

He looked down at you and smiled gently... He bring a hand to your head and started gently caressing it and playing with your hair... He kissed your forehead, cheek and crown and mumbled more like to himself..."It worked"...

"Hmm?"

"Nothing my darling, just know that you are mine and you're never going to be alone, because your always gonna be with me for forever and nothing gonna be able to separate us... For now rest well my princess..." he said while he get a syringe from his pocket...

"W-what y-yo..." he give a shot from your arm and you started falling asleep but you were fighting with all your might to not to...

"My princessa, give in to it, I promise when you wake up you'll love me that much that you even don't think of me letting you go... Because it's a love potion and after you'll wake up you'll feel so good. So now be a good girl and give in...''

You slowly but surely closed your eyes and your body went limp in his arms. He's one hand was still rubbing your back and other was playing with your hair when you fell into deep sleep... He kissed your forehead gently again and leaned down and whispered to your ear...

"Sleep well MY PRINCESS"

____________________________________________________________

[myechoecho]

Love Game in Eastern Fantasy, ep 10 & 11

I'm behind a couple episodes but some quick thoughts on ep 10& 11.

I loved how Miaomiao was the one who helped him come back to himself and break the water bubble

I am 95% sure there was kiss of some sort in that bubble and i demand a flashback

The promise to always find her and never leave her behind will definitely come back into play in the future.

I adore the excuse for holding hands. His affection for her is at 50%!!

Ziqi is a socially awkward dork who is just really messed up and lonely. He was left alone as a child, adopted into his sister's family where he does have any acceptance except with with his sister. He's part demon and desperately wants to hide that. But he's now part of a Demon Hunter clan so he becomes a Demon Hunter, essentially hunting his own kind. No wonder he isolated himself with everyone except his sister. Miaomiao is right - he needs therapy

However, when Miaomiao is hurt by the Water Demon Queen (she's not even that hurt), Ziqi does not even hesitate. He immediately removes the head band to deal with the Water Demon Queen. He's so terrified of people seeing his demon form but that does not matter when someone hurts Miaomio.

Again, Miaomiao is the one to bring him back to himself, or calm him when he is in his Demon form. He listens when she tells him to stop chasing.

She offers to put the hairband back on him and he lets her, even going so far as to kneel so she has an easier time of it. He absolutely trusts her with this part of himself.

Miaomiao understands him well enough by now to know that he will need reassurance. He hates his demon form. So she comforts him, tells him it is okay and that he did great. He is not a monster.

MY HEART

It occurs to me that the view of demons in this world may be a bit skewed. Cuicui is harmless and sweet (if anything happens to him I will riot). The two water demons were also harmless originally, minding their own business on their mountain until they were hunted. It was that action that caused them to go bad.

There must be some bigger reason behind the hunting of the demons. Sure, some are probably bad naturally. But it seems like more are just like people - some are good, some are bad. It's just that they have magical powers.

I hope to be caught up soon.

[deeplyobsessed]

ok so i’m gonna ramble in sections

section 1: cgi moustache

FUCKING HILARIOUS like it was so bad it was funny HELP also buck’s hair was season 8 hair too it’s so funny like WHY did they reuse this HAHA

section 2: confession part 1

as short of a scene as it was, this was really nicely shot imo. and the tears in eddie’s eyes when he spoke like RYAN GUZMAN UR SO GOOD. but also how does buck (best friend) rank about girlfriend like hmmmmmmm

section 3: FUCKING ABBY

I CLOCKED IT I KNEW IT i know we always joke about 911 having continuity issues but THIS was such a good way to call back season 1 like insane writing tim minear and i love u for it

section 4: the divorce call

i wish they did more with this call like there was potential to call back to eddie/shannon but they didn’t. other than that i think honestly this is one of the grossest calls they’ve ever been on like genuinely icked the hell out of me with the guts like ugh gross

section 5: josh’s speech

as much as people hate on tommy, i do think josh’s explanation of things does give some sort of context to the way tommy acted in the past. like yeah racism and sexism is bad don’t get me wrong, but tommy did make an effort to change. it’s just that with society and his own work place back then, tommy prob had a lot of internalised homophobia that he expressed negatively outward to others (chim and hen in particular). but josh made a very good point with his speech about pre glee and post glee world (great reference, 10/10) and i think this was one of my favourite parts of this episode

section 6: confession part 2

ok first of all there was literally NO NEED to add that “im straight” “im celibate” part. like that was intentionally written into the script for something bcos that entire section could have been done without the sexuality mention. tim minear i see you. other than that FATHER BRIAN YOU ARE SPEAKING FACTS. my fav line he said was “but we can’t take care of others if we don’t first take care of ourselves”. bcos this is true!! and also a line used in therapy a lot cough. anyway i think the conversation eddie had with the priest was like a wake up call to eddie to start getting his head out of his ass and start working towards something. love this scene 10/10

section 7: brothers and pipes

most of this call was focused on the brothers part more than the well scene call back, tho there was a throw away line from bobby to eddie about how (eddie) wouldn’t fit this time. i do wonder if this happened irl would fire departments legally be authorised to allow children to help with rescues tho. otherwise honestly this was a very cute scene that helped chim get some introspection. i do wish there was more of a well scene call back tho :(

section 8: buck tommy breakup

as a buddie fan, i am overjoyed. but as a buck fan, i am devastated. tommy is actually one of my favourite love interests for buck, and its not just because he’s a dude and sexual awakening all that. i genuinely do think buck and tommy could have had a lot of potential if the show had decided to go through with it, but at the same time ending it here was also a relatively good note. i think in this relationship it wasn’t actually buck who wasn’t ready, it was tommy. tommy is afraid of things not working out in the long run bcos he doesn’t believe in buck’s affection for him being long term. this whole breakup was bcos tommy wasn’t ready imo. i do see the point tommy was trying to make but i also think it was a bit of a dick move to do the whole breakup immediately after buck asked tommy to move in with him. like the timing could have been better tommy. tommy being the one who decided to end things did surprise me tho. but now i feel really sad for buck bcos buck did like tommy a lot, and also as a queer person your first queer relationship is always going to mean a lot to you

section 9: MADNEY MADNEY MADNEY

HOLY MOTHER OF- i didn’t see this coming i didn’t but i am so here for it. the amount of trust and communication between chim and maddie is literal relationship GOALS like they lay out the boundaries and have healthy discussions about having another kid and it’s just so UGHHHH I LOVE YOU also maddie already being pregnant FJSJCKSK MORE BABIES

section 10: eddie, the moustache, and the dance

this. was. everything. the significance of shaving off the moustache. the dancing at the end?? no pants too was a choice. like when eddie flops back onto the couch and you see his smile, it’s like you truly see him deciding to finally forgive himself. maybe not completely, because there’s always going to be some guilt he carries around, but he’s moving forward and i’m so, so happy for him. it’s just a fun goofy feel good scene and i love love love this.

special mention: buddie and the couch

i actually think this is the first time both of them are on the couch together. like sitting next to each other with no one else. RETURN OF THE COUCH THEORY WELCOME BACK. ok but the ending scene?? the way they don’t even need words to communicate like- buck not even bothering to question why eddie doesn’t have pants, and eddie not even questioning why buck is here with beer in the first place. the level of mutual understanding has my HEART IN PIECES

overall this is honestly my fav ep this season and one of my fav eps of all time. i can’t wait to see how the story moves on from here ahhhhhhh

[thingsidrawgohere]

I just finished my first run of DA4 and let me say- I probably got my money's worth. If one wants to view the experience via a purely mercantile lens. I found many bits of cheese and touched the insides of many angry creatures. But if one wishes to frame the thing as Art- Hell, if one wants to solely discuss it as the Fourth in a series of lore-dense, narrative RPGs, then, Cousin, We've Got Problems. Three interconnected niggling ideas that kinda all lead to the conclusion- for me, at least- that modern design practices simply do not trust the player. News flash, right?

Anyways, I think I'm going to have some thoughts on this subject to avoid other thoughts, thank you.

Full-Throated Spoilers Beyond. And a lot of them. It's long.

Idea 1: DA2 is my favorite of the series. That's not the problem; it's the setup. I know what I'm about and it's interesting characters interacting over time. Flawed characters. Abrasive, opinionated, STUPID ASS ANDERS characters. The story was scaled well for a handful of total losers and it was political. The most humanly political of all the games, I think. That's a very low bar, particularly for AAA, but it felt better to stand in a street, to be personally effected by events, than to look at a literal map of icons and notes and distant decisions as in DA3. It's important, I think, for DA to be about Being, Getting Dirty. You aren't a king. You shouldn't be.

Side Note 1: DA2 is a fucking miracle. The old gag that FO New Vegas, blessed be, was made in 18 months is trotted out to display Can-Do Attitude and DEEPLY unethical labor practices. DA2 got less time, fewer reusable assets (due to a different art style), and had to rebuild most of the engine. A. Miracle.

DA4, on the other hand, has a series of supportive, well-adapted people who have all worked very hard on themselves in therapy and know all the fucking right words to say. They chat with one another with kindness and sober fondness. In the One Instance of interpersonal friction, it is resolved with grace and speed. I find this Horrid. They fucking forgot to give these people negative traits. It's likability slurry. They experience no hard growth, hold no horseshit ideas, suffer no lingering doubts. It's not only unnatural but it's lifeless. It becomes Written. I can see the fucking author waving at me. I've got a note from my run that reads 'Rook told the man who is forcibly living inside his head "Thank you sharing that" and I want to scream.'

And that would be bad enough except the ideas are there. You've got a reluctant father story. Someone trapped between two cultures. A older man, already terrified of aging, of death, taking a Much Younger lover. That's Fucking Meat. I can see the writers straining against something but what they deliver is still person-shaped missed opportunities that repeat, that repeat, that repeat. It's So Frustrating. There's flashes of Good Writing. Of good character beats. But Also- from my notes, a character had just held her brother as he died, inexplicably for a second time, and Rook gives her a little pep talk that ends with him asking "You good?"

And the fucking woman says "I'm good" in response. She seemed to mean it.

How does one- react to that as a viewer? I told a man who wanted to be a lich more than anything to Not and he was cool with it. He never brought up being a lich again. He wasn't even upset. I let a man's city die and he's like I Get It, Bro. No Harsh Vibes. It rings hollow.

Talking over Solas' memories, collectively pulling out the meaning behind them- that was some of the best characters-interacting writing in the whole thing. And it's HOURS into the game. A shame.

Side Note 2: A lot of a loved-one death as motivation in this old refrigerator. If you get a name and one line, Oh Boy Brother, you are prolly gonna die bad. Lazy.

If I'm going to talk about Emmrich, let's talk about his romance. I honestly thought it was bugged. I Am playing through another run as a comparative but Wow. Larian and BG3 absolutely reconfigured what's acceptable in these types of story beats. This particular romance felt regressive, in a sense. Like a last minute addition. The very definition of love coins. No charisma or honest affection between the characters. Nothing allowed to percolate (more on that in a second). Just- now you are ROMANCED. Which means on the Blue Moon instance he has anything to say regarding being in a relationship, the best you can get is a 'dearest' at the end of a sentence. I was Excited by the idea of Emmrich really struggling with a May/December situation but he Doesn't. He has a few lines implying that he Could but it leads nowhere.

And they fuck in a coffin (???) and it's not even hot (!!!). Unforgivable. Double Unforgivable. I heard there was spice in this game? This is baking soda.

Related, a few lines awkwardly dodged the question of Emmrich's previous relationships and I have an inkling, without experiencing the other romances, that this is the world's largest case of gun-shy after the backlash with DA3's non-playersexual romances. This man can not be confirmed to be Anything but Into Rook, whatever they might be. There was also a throwaway line with Taash how she prefers women and that's as much as I saw of explicit preferences. I don't envy anyone trying to address the rabidity of fandom but it feels like unnecessary acrobatics.

Side Oh No: It's so bad that I'm honestly thinking of doing a fixit fic regarding the romance/character writing. And God, I can't right now. I have to finish my other project first.

Idea 2: The pacing. That's what ruins so much. There was a scene of a gnarled, fucked-up gate, torn from its hinges. And my guy says "Something Big must have torn apart that gate" all ominous, building a sense of- Nope. The very big darkspawn is standing ten feet away on the other side. I hadn't even swung the camera around the hall to see it before my guy goes "That big darkspawn must have torn apart the gate!"

Yes, I know there's an issue in open world games these days wherein devs are allergic to a player's millisecond of not knowing where to go but this feels applicable across the whole game. A problem isn't allowed to fester. It is brought to attention and then swiftly dealt with. If there's a locked door, a difficult decision, a feeling beyond Protestant determination, it will be dealt with, Post Fucking Haste. It's like the game doesn't trust the player to hold tension.

This happens not just in barks or small set pieces. Whole arcs work this way. Like Harding's longterm personal quest. She gets a handful of lines about feeling vaguely angry or perhaps thinking she Should be More angry about Lore Dump Retcon and then at her culmination, she's fighting her own anger. A vicious, hot, searing thing- and it wasn't earned. At all. There was room to telegraph this theme, bury it in the dirt to let grow roots. They didn't. One Line was given about her people pleasing tendencies And she's not really shown to be people pleasing to her own detriment. This is Chekhov's Gun in running shoes. It doesn't work. It feels like it comes out of left field.

Hell, there was a mission that was like SURVIVE IF YOU CAN and it was like- literally a long hallway. The Pacing is all Off.

Idea 3: I don't like that I must do this but DA4 doesn't understand its own flavor. The One Thing you Cannot Do is have Minrathous, the city of slaves and blood mages, seem nice. Particularly in the poor parts of town. You Cannot have the Crows be a lovely dovey band of scamps. You Cannot have the Blight be reversible. You Cannot CANNOT say "elves have it pretty good" as my Elvish Rook said with his face flaps. No. NO. You Cannot side-step the politics of this setting. These are the bones on which these characters are hung. To lessen the world is to lessen, to decomplexify them.

You know what my elf didn't hear in the town that canonically trades in bodies that look his? Knife ear. Eh to fantasy slurs but my point is no one said a cross word to my guy. The Qunari living in the town that had been warring with the Qunari for Centuries seemed totes fine. There were no alienages. There were no proper templars- even from other regions. No Mage Circles. No mage issues at all. Hardly anything whatsoever regarding the Chantry or Andrastianism, even as the game takes place in the Super Anti-Pope town. I had a literal demon-possessed man in my party and the world did not react.

I had a friend describe this Thedas as feeling smoothed out and Yeah. It feels like all the nasty bumps have been deemed undesirable. I don't know what to make of it. Is this simply taking the world in a different direction? Is it a mandate to tone down the unpleasantness, for sales? A shift in design ethos? Is this a sign of a very troubled project as it was with Andromeda?

I don't know. Is this still a Dragon Age game without its politics? There's enough here for me to wonder if Bioware is even Bioware anymore. There's a TREMENDOUS amount of work, of skill in DA4. Just Absurd. The environments are thick, Thicc. But work alone is not a virtue. Have we ship of Theseus'd so far that the people- the real people, not the logos- who have interests aligned with what made DA1 special are no longer there? Something went wrong with this project, narratively. Something I don't know how to fix without addressing basement level assumptions I'm clearly not privy to. I hope they can.

Final Thoughts: Game development is a fucking hole into which one pours one's relationships, time, and health, physical, mental both. It gives satisfaction very rarely. They shipped. In that way, huge success. It's not even, fundamentally, a 'bad game'. But it is a victim of a modern philosophy of pre-chewed ideas and player distrust. VGs are ultimately a business and, in these last few years, there's been a unimaginable devastation to the workers in the industry- even as the money flows ever upward. The desire to sell well has morphed into a NEED to sell well, even among the 'kept' studios. Big studios, Grand Dame Studios sitting on top of past critical and financial successes, been killed by their overlords recently. No one is safe. It's suddenly quite dangerous for large studios to make anything remotely niche, remotely unclear and Bioware has both Andromeda And Anthem under its belt. They're probably feeling the pinch. They needed a hit and hits, these days, are increasingly smooth. And DA4 is very smooth.

That's just my feeling on the matter. I'll see what a second run yields.

Smaller thoughts:

I don't care about the combat but that was- odd. The illusion of depth with all the skill trees and types of damage and subsystems of attack- all boiling down to a one button push. It's odd. I played rogue on PC so perhaps it's different for other classes, on console. But I pressed the button at the man and when I got a halo, I pressed another button and then pressed the first button again. No matter where I was on the skill tree, it never changed, never felt different. I don't know. It felt. Odd?

There was a Honest To God "It's quiet- Too quiet" and it just Happened. I would have pulled out every one of my teeth to avoid that. I get the jokey-okey but fuck, man.

Where's the chest hair? WHERE? Body hair? ANYTHING? Davrin has plastic chest. It's freaky.

Gloom Howler Gloom Howler Gloom Howler. Frankly, that whole storyline had a large gulg of the farcical. I laughed my ass entirely off when, upon her defeat, the Gloom Howler said "I'm sorry" and took a nap so hard that the scene wiped to 'some time later'. That was insane editing. PACING. And- naming. Gloom Howler. Gloom. Howler.

Teeth. Dear God, the teeth.

The devs were in a real pickle here, no doubt. My great sympathies. There's an Overwhelming abundance of world states that DA3 could have left on the board and I understand the balancing act between acknowledging the events of older games and staying generic enough DA4 could apply to All of them. Is Cassandra the White Divine? Or is Leliana? It's a nightmare of choices. Any of the people that Could be Divine can not be mentioned without lore issues. Who's on the throne in Orlais? Ferelden? Where's beloved so-and-so? Dorian canonically did return to Minrathous so he can 'safely' appear in game- but he fucking can't talk about Iron Bull, who may or may not be alive. Isabela canonically goes back to piracy but she can't talk about events in Kirkwall because she may not have been there for them. Oof. That's not a lot you are Allowed to acknowledge. The Poor Bastards.

Watched a braid slip off a person's shoulder, organically, as they were talking. Started at the bottom and look where we're at, technologically. And speaking on the technical, a lot of textures didn't load right. For the entire game, my guy's left shoulder armour thing had a much lower rez texture than the rest. Three hard crashes, which isn't the worst. One Wonderful mission wherein Lucanis' hair and his knives were the only bits of him to render.

I'm not touching the non-binary storyline. It was clunky, for sure, but the greatest sin was using Our words. There is canonical words for NGC/NB people in fiction and to not use them shows a fundamental distrust towards the source material and the players both. It's the linguistic version of the quest marker or the barks telling you where to go.

I still don't know how I feel about the dead Varric twist. Feels goofball but he got to hang out in his little pajamas. I wish I was in little pajamas.

Solas was pretty fucking tight but I think a lot of that was due to his VA. Something about the voice direction, in general, felt- flat? But old Solas was doing it good.

Ending. God, I get it. People are tired and satisfying endings are hard. And DLC exists, more cynically. But Hells Bells, I'm getting to the point wherein even the slideshow is annoying. Give me a fucking Ending to the Choice Game. Don't you fucking 'Spider-Man Will Return' at me, you bastard. I'm a child of fucking god.

Yes, I got the secret ending. I know. That was Also bullshit.

I feel better getting that all out of my system. Thank you for sharing that.

[spoocys-glade-of-dreams]

Rayman would hold Naida's hand as she said she would go if needed. He would relax more into the cot but his grip on her hand remained.

"Right now, we wait. If I know my Aunt, she'll come seek you out if she does need you to step forward. You're right though. Minimus was there. I might just be worrying over nothing right now. Can't help it. A lot has happened."

Otto would begin to make his way over with a clipboard. He would tear a page from the notepad on it and offered it to Naida.

"Here you are. A list of highly recommended doctors from my colleague, Romeo. He asked me to pass along a message to you both. In the event Pearl needs anything during her journey through therapy, don't hesitate to call him. He can help you both."

"Thank you, Otto."

"My pleasure, Rayman. Now I need you to rest. You may be here for a few days. How about you, Miss Naida? Are you in need of an examination for any injuries?"

Once Otto had finished his discussions with the couple, he would pull a curtain closed to give them privacy after moving a bed over for Naida to use during her stay. Rayman let out a soft sigh as he stared at the ceiling.

"Honey? Would it be alright if we postponed the wedding day until further notice? I want everyone to be well enough for it. Not just myself and Pearl, but you and Tily too."

--------------------------------------------

Raymesis would gently hush Pearl and tried to pick her up into his hold. It wasn't the same as Rayman's but he tried his best. He would let Pearl hug onto him and would begin to stroke the back of her head.

"He can't hurt you anymore. He can't hurt anyone anymore. He's gone and he's never coming back. It is impossible for him to come back from where he is now. You are safe now."

She feels bad for her daughter, she is having to grow up more quickly for the circunstances as she lets Raymesis leave with her kids... the mermaid stood besides the bed of Rayman as she looks with sadness in her eyes how Pearl was bad... she was bad for all the trauma that she has suffered her whole life.

Her hands moved to his pillow to make it softer for him as they speak more about this... her heart was heavy for everything... They were safe and sound. At least they are now...

“ 𝙸 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚜𝚘 𝚋𝚊𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐... 𝙸 𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙸 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚜𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍... 𝙸 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚍𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐... 𝙽𝚘𝚠 𝚃𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚠 𝚞𝚙 𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚓𝚞𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚋𝚎𝚍 𝚛𝚒𝚍𝚍𝚎𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙿𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚕 𝚒𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐... ”

Said Naida 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐑𝐚𝐲𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐩𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐡. 𝐀𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐃𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐚, 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝... 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 !! ﹖𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫 !!

“ 𝙸 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚐𝚘 𝚒𝚏 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑, 𝙸 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝙰𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚊 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚍𝚎𝚏𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚎𝚛, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚐𝚘 𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚍𝚎𝚏𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎, 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚜 𝙶𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙼𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚖𝚞𝚜 𝚜𝚊𝚠 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘𝚘... 𝚑𝚎 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑. 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝙸 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚍𝚘 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚊 𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚢... ”

Says her as she waits for Otto to return with the list she can start to call in the same room and get appointments for Pearl.

Pearl meanwhile she just hugged Raymesis more, remembering everything. How she got snatched twice, how she got hurt twice and how she was alone... but that only happened once, after the silence in the house of Earth was so deafing that was scary. Now she is not alone, she doesn't talk and only makes noises for now, aside of little words. When Raymesis said that she won't have to see that Rabbid anymore, she looked up at him with tears in her eyes, one part was happy to know it, the more herself part that right now was dormant to defend her head from more traumas.

“ 𝙽𝚘𝚝... 𝚑𝚞𝚛𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎.... 𝙷𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚑𝚞𝚛𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐... 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎. ”

𝑟𝑒𝑝𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑠 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑐𝘩𝑖𝑙𝑑 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑠 𝑡𝑟𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝘩𝑒𝑚 𝑏𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟. 𝐻𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑔𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑎 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑓!!

[kozmicmizuu]

a lil bit of a sad headcanon of mine, is that Giyuu just refuses to get checked by any hospital or anything medical related if he doesn’t know them. not that he’s not aware he needs it, he just doesn’t trust it, not since he’s been called crazy by some “professionals” in the medical field when he was a child (his backstory basically)

He also would frankly rather die then be inside a hospital other than the ones in the slayer corps, he flat out just doesn’t trust it at ALL. no one really knows about his hatred towards the medical profession but Shinobu. she noticed this behavior whenever(like, once in a long time) that he genuinely seems uncomfortable, and actually looks like he’s going to hurt someone if they get near him. it’s very worrying but he’d never lash out, he has a lot of self control.

same goes for the education system, they failed him too, he was supposed to be taught and tutored but they never did that. just hurt him mentally and emotionally, he doesn’t like teachers other than physical education teachers, cause it’s kinda hard to hate mfs that quite literally teach some physically demanding things.

he taught himself like reading (at a more mature level), writing, cooking, and all other subjects, except math, another headcanon is that he has Dyscalculia (learning disorder that affects a person's ability to do math. dyslexia disrupts areas of the brain related to reading, dyscalculia affects brain areas that handle math- and number-related skills and understanding.) (god bless google)

he can’t do math so this day, no one really nods but himself, Urokodaki, and Gyomei and Tengen. why those two? it’s cause they knew him the longest, kinda

he also HATES being called crazy, or anything like that. he’s not crazy, he never will be. if like, the person doesn’t let up about calling him that, he can get fucking physical if he needs to be

anyways Giyuu don’t fuck with any of them mfs ong‼️ they failed him and he is not and never willing forgive them, he’s real for that

[yuwuta]

peds surgeon yuuta??? u cant say things like that i need to jump. the cartoons, the glasses, of course his freaky ass would have a thing for u calling him doctor okkotsu i need to die id wanna tease him sm and be all over him but i cant think of anything if its in a hospital how did the greys anatomy ppl made it work?

the grey’s doctors were FREAKS LMFAOO bc there is not space to be doing all that in the on call rooms…. honestly yuuta is probably too busy to even try anything with you in the hospital 90% of the time… he’s either in surgery or buried in the research library or falling asleep standing up 😭 sometimes you two pass each other in an empty stairwell and have time for a kiss or two, but never more than that (also because yuuta has very little self-restraint when it comes to you… if he allowed himself more than that, then it would be much harder to stop…) 

sometimes the two of you will fall asleep in the same on call room. yuuta will page you there and by the time you arrive he’s already half asleep, it’s probably his only nap in the last 24 hours, so you do your best not to wake wake him when you cuddle up next to him. you get a few hours of bliss in his arms before his pager is waking the both of you up, and he’s got to scurry downstairs to the peds floor and in his hurry he doesn’t realize he’s snagged your lab coat instead of his own, and it’s only when he’s haphazardly slipped it on and the arms are too short and the shoulders are too tight that he figures it out. it’s too late by then, because gojo is the attending on this case which means he doesn’t miss anything, which means he’s the first to giggle and tease, poking at your name embroidered above the breast pocket, “oh? i didn’t know the two of you got married already! oh and you took her last name, how noble, yuuta!~” 

[gxlden-angels]

Bro I hate fundamentalists and culturally-fundie parents they'll say shit like "spare the rod spoil the child am I right haha yea my parents used to have to beat my ass with a switch almost everyday but I sure did learn my lesson" but like??? no you didn't??? you were hit multiple times for something you very obviously did not, in fact, learn

Like studies about how harmful even lightly spanking children is aside, you're literally contradicting yourself?? Some even admitted they got worse as they got older cause they wanted to see how far they could push their parents before they got punished

And studies not aside, you're gonna get child raising advice from the same book that tells you to stone your wife if her hymen doesn't break on your wedding night instead of the decades of research we have now?? Just say you're a bad parent and move on my guy. Skill issue

[kaocat-tatatat]

Just read the comic Arkham Asylum: A Serious House On A Serious Earth recently and I am surprised how little fanfiction I can find around the idea of Bruce being trapped in Arkham, there's so much you could do with it (and stories focusing on a decent into madness/breakdown of a characters psyche are very interesting to me).

if anyone has any fanfic relating to this idea they can recommend, please do!

[everywaythatmatters]

The boy himself from Of Cats and Closed Doors by @tragediegh